Malang, en.SERU.co.id — The recent emergence of child grooming cases has exposed a collective failure to recognize emotional violence against children. Wrapped in apparent affection and attention, this practice often goes unnoticed until victims are blamed and left to bear their trauma alone.
Experts emphasize that child grooming is a form of abuse rooted in unequal power dynamics and never stems from the victim’s consent.
Ratih Eka Pertiwi, S.Psi., M.Psi., a psychologist from Universitas Muhammadiyah Malang (UMM), stresses that child grooming is a grave form of violence. It frequently escapes detection because it develops gradually, systematically, and exploits imbalanced power relations.
“Perpetrators typically present themselves as caring, kind, and attentive figures. In such situations, victims may feel comfortable and even defend the abuser due to a strong emotional bond, similar to Stockholm syndrome,” said the UMM Psychology lecturer on Tuesday, January 27, 2026.
According to her, the initial stages of grooming are often overlooked because no physical violence is apparent. Many people only realize the abuse once sexual assault occurs, even though emotional manipulation has been underway long before.
“Even then, it leaves profound psychological impacts on the victim. When abuse is only acknowledged after physical contact. It means we have already failed to protect the child in time,” she asserted firmly.
Ratih explained that unequal power dynamics are central to child grooming, especially when the perpetrator is older, holds a certain social status, or possesses popularity that makes them seem trustworthy. This imbalance often leads to victim blaming, where the victim is wrongly portrayed as at fault.
“Victim blaming narrows the safe space for victims to speak out and seek help. It is deeply harmful and can worsen psychological trauma,” the psychologist added.
She noted that signs of child grooming can be identified through changes in a child’s emotions and behavior, such as social withdrawal, extreme mood swings, or a tendency to keep secrets from family.
In the digital era, risks are heightened as perpetrators can reach children via social media, online games, and other communication platforms.
“If a child is asked to keep a relationship secret or made to feel guilty for refusing an adult’s requests, that is already a serious red flag,” Ratih emphasized.
Why Do Perpetrators Become Angry and Deny?
Psychiatrist dr. Lahargo Kembaren, Sp.KJ, revealed that denial and emotional outbursts commonly displayed by child grooming perpetrators are part of specific psychological patterns.
“At least four common psychological patterns emerge in perpetrators of child grooming. First, defense mechanisms: perpetrators deny their actions to avoid feeling guilty, protecting their self-image and evading the reality of harming others,” Lahargo explained, as cited from detikHealth.
Second, cognitive dissonance, psychological discomfort from conflicting beliefs: “I am a good person” versus “I hurt someone else.” To resolve this, perpetrators deny facts, blame the victim, or react angrily when confronted.
Third, the aspect of control and power. Grooming is fundamentally about power. When that control is threatened, perpetrators may panic, become furious, and explode as they lose their dominant position.
Fourth, a lack of empathy toward the victim’s suffering. Perpetrators focus more on themselves than on the psychological wounds inflicted. Their anger often signals that their defense mechanisms are crumbling.
Parents Play a Key Role in Prevention
Prof. Rose Mini Agoes Salim, Professor of Psychology at Universitas Indonesia (UI), stressed that preventing child grooming must begin in the closest environment — especially the family. She outlined several steps parents can take to protect their children:
- Ensure children feel safe and comfortable at home and school.
- Always value and support children, particularly during challenging times like adolescence.
- Provide space for children to express their feelings, thoughts, and desires so they do not feel alone and seek figures outside the family.
- Allow children to explore interests and activities healthily, reducing the habit of hiding things from parents.
- Foster good communication at home and school.
- Guide children in building a strong sense of self to grow confident and avoid emotional dependence on others.
- Monitor behavioral changes in children, such as withdrawal or lack of friends, and investigate the causes.
“Protecting children cannot rely solely on regulations. It requires sensitivity, courage, and active community involvement to question seemingly normal relationships that may actually pose dangers,” Rose concluded. (aan/rhd)
